


The One Where Natalie Lost the Bet

by writingramblr



Series: Avengers in the Big Apple [2]
Category: Avengers AU - Fandom, Domestic Avengers - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Avengers AU, Domestic Avengers, F/M, Fluffy silliness, Slightly naughtier, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-09
Updated: 2013-10-05
Packaged: 2017-12-14 09:30:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/835382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingramblr/pseuds/writingramblr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Episode 2: In the last episode we saw Natalie betting Loki couldn't last a month working at Central Perk. Somehow, she lost.<br/>Now she has to work for Tony and Bruce as their maid for a month. It's debatable who actually owes who the $100.<br/>Will Natalie agree to uphold her end of the bargain?<br/>Will Maria go nuts at the idea of her roommate consenting to slave labor? (Definitely)<br/>Will Steve have the balls to ask out Natalie?<br/>Will Tony have the balls to ask out Pepper and thaw that icy exterior?<br/>Will Bruce end up falling for a writer of soft core porn?<br/>All these and more will be answered in this adventure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Recalling Events

**Author's Note:**

> No one wakes up where they belong, and the night before is slightly fuzzy.

"I never agreed to wear that." Natalie scoffed.  
The skimpy French maid uniform Tony held up looked more out of a sex shop than the corner costume store.  
"Absolutely not. I will not allow it." Maria declared violently.  
Slowly, a single brow raised on Tony's forehead.  
"Oh really? I didn't think you were one to break promises . . . “

 

***Flashback to the morning after the superbowl party 2 weeks previous and beyond***

A loud groan echoed about the apartment. Phil Coulson sat up, slowly, as he could now feel the after effects of the amount of alcohol he consumed at the party the previous night.  
It felt as if someone was hammering away at his skull. Not pleasant.  
“Where are we?” a smooth voice asked, and Phil turned to find Loki and Thor sprawled about his living room floor.  
He was lying on his leather couch, whereas the two brothers were merely lounging atop his large rug in front of the mock fireplace.  
Thor was now beginning to piece the events together. The brothers had overtaken the bar at Tony’s party, handing out shots by the dozen and enjoying nearly half as many as were made.  
Eventually the party had made its way back to the apartment building, and spread out.  
Loki kicked out experimentally, and Thor winced at the contact.  
“Watch it brother. I haven’t yet regained my strength. I doubt I could stand longer than a minute.”  
“How much tequila did you drink?” Loki inquired with a frown.  
Phil waved his hand at the bickering pair,  
“Guys. Guys. Keep the noise down until I’ve had coffee.”  
The brothers looked over at him guiltily.  
“Sorry.” They chorused.  
***  
“Oh my god oh my god oh mygodohmygod!”  
Steve mumbled into his hands as he tried to carefully extricate himself from the pair of arms belonging to a sleeping Natalie.  
Somehow, during the night she had become completely entangled about him, like a spider. Her legs even were atop and below his own.  
How could he have gotten so lucky and yet been so unfortunate? He had no clue how or when this had come about.  
It had always been his dream to eventually fall asleep holding her, but not like this.  
She was also only clad in a bright red and black lace edged bra and panty set.  
He glanced down and gulped.  
This, of all mornings, he had to have a visitor.  
He heard a loud yawn emanate from the other side of the room and he looked over in horror to see Clint moving around on the floor, trying to pull more of the covers over himself.  
Had they all fallen asleep after some sort of ménage a trios?  
Steve hoped not. His catholic upbringing caused him to blush at the thought.  
He may have been a friend of Clint’s, but not that good.  
He lifted Natalie’s right leg off of his own, and slid the rest of the way off the bed, and bolted for the kitchen.  
His head ached and he needed some orange juice.  
***  
The paper he was trying to write on kept shifting. The figures he was scribbling suddenly turned into nonsense, and the shaking became real.

Tony jerked awake, and found Bruce urgently shaking his shoulder,  
“What?” he hissed, annoyed at having been awoken from a potentially profitable dream.  
“Come see!” Bruce’s eyes were wide, not with fear, and not from weed withdrawal.  
Tony closed his eyes, and shook his head.  
“It better be good.”  
“It is. Or very bad. Just get out here.”  
Bruce ran back out to the living room, and Tony fumbled around for some shorts. As per usual, he had gone to bed without a stitch of clothing. And as close as he and Bruce were, they respected each other enough to not go around in the buff.  
He finally found his black gym shorts, and threw them on, strolling casually out to see what was bothering Bruce so much.  
His own eyes widened as he took in the sight of a stunning brunette, wearing a dark blue dress, with silver straps. It looked familiar. Something in his memory stirred, and as Bruce gingerly lifted a few dark curls off of the girl’s face, he finally recognized Maria.  
“Oh god. Natalie’s gonna kill me.”  
Bruce stood back up and shook his head, gripping Tony’s wrist,  
“No shit Sherlock. I think you mean us. She’s going to kill us. You first. Then me. And I can’t even remember what I did. So it’s hardly fair.”  
Tony shrugged,  
“Maybe Natalie had her own party. She might not remember either. Go smoke a joint. I’ll text Clint and see if he knows where she is.”  
***  
“It’s all I ever wanted.” An earnest smile was simple to fake, and Phil bought it completely.  
“No problem. I know the owner. Let me give him a call and we’ll see what we can do.” He clapped a hand on the younger brothers arm, and Loki smiled.  
“Great.”  
“We should return home brother. I need a shower, and I would wager you could use one as well.”  
Loki glanced across at Thor, who sniffed his own armpits, then winced.  
“If you say so brother. Good day to you Phil. Thank you for your help, and for letting us stay the night.”  
Phil smiled,  
“It’s nothing. I’m so used to being by myself up here, the only company I get is when Pepper comes by once a month for rent. Stay out of trouble guys.”  
He waved them off from his front door, making sure they reached the elevator without stumbling, and then retreated back into his penthouse.  
“I’m getting old if I can’t even have a few drinks without forgetting the night. I should call Pepper and see what she’s up to. Or maybe she isn’t even up yet . . .” Phil had the bad habit of talking to himself, it stemmed from having to practice his lines alone, and living alone. Hanging out with the brothers had been an enjoyable distraction from the fact he could have brought a couple females home instead, had he a better game.  
He checked his cell, and was surprised to see a couple missed calls from the red haired landlady. He pressed talk, and grinned, eager to speak with his good friend.  
***  
Natalie awoke in an unfamiliar room, and she could swear she heard a strange humming like a contented cat purring beside her.  
She turned over in the large bed where she found herself to see Clint on the ground beside the bed, snuggling closer to a sheet that was nearly falling off of her.  
She glanced down to see she was in danger of being exposed, clad only in her skimpy lingerie. The Friends with Benefits thing worked for them in college, but now they were content with just the friends. She had no clue what had brought about a possible relapse. She pulled hard on her end of the sheet, and she heard Clint growl deep in his throat, and his eyes snapped open.  
Sea green eyes met sky blue ones, and the latter widened in shock.  
“What the hell?”  
“I was wondering the same thing.” She pulled the sheet tightly around herself, frowning slightly.  
“Is everyone awake? Good. Breakfast is ready.” The pair looked around to see Steve peeking his head into the bedroom, and Natalie huffed out an impatient breath, her flame red bangs flying off her eyes.  
“What is going on here?”  
“I just said that.”  
“Jesus Clint.” Steve held up a hand as it had been revealed when Clint stood, just why he had been fighting for that sheet.  
“Have you been working out?” Natalie’s eyes raked his body with an appreciative gaze.  
Clint grinned,  
“Yep. Took you long enough to notice. I don’t usually work out anything below my waist. Or my junk for that matter.”  
“Naturally.” She sneered, and they both noticed Steve had left the area.  
“So tell me, what really happened?”  
Clint shrugged, and casually reached for the dark grey shorts lying across the end of the bed,  
“I had maybe two beers; you had about three vodka cranberry’s, not to mention half a dozen shots of patron. Then we all came back here. Steve only came along because I had the key. I think Maria went home alone.”  
Natalie gulped, suddenly she didn’t feel like joking. Until she knew her roommate was safe, all fun was postponed.  
“Where’s my cell?” she jumped out of the bed, and began turning the room upside down.  
“Calm down Nat. I’ll text her. My phone’s been charging all night, whereas yours is probably dead.”  
She glared at him, and tapped her foot impatiently as he tapped on his phone.  
“Chill out. Go have some eggs. Steve’s a regular Wolfgang Puck.”  
Natalie got halfway out the door, still clad in just the sheet and her underwear, when Clint cleared his throat nervously,  
“Ah, okay, she says she’s fine. And this is Bruce. Hmm. I guess she ended up with the science guys.”  
Natalie grinned,  
“Good for her. At least things won’t be awkward between her and Bruce now. They’ll have something to talk about.”  
Clint eyed her cautiously,  
“’Her and Bruce?’ She likes Bruce? 'Stoner Banner?'”  
She shrugged,  
“She’s got a crush. Hopefully this will break the ice. Or maybe not. Either way, I’m not worried. Let’s eat. I’m starving.”


	2. Continued Recalling

A loud knocking on the front door was the first noise that alerted Maria to the fact she was not in fact sleeping in her nice queen bed clad in soft cotton sheets.  
She was sprawled across a velvety couch, and had a bad taste in her mouth. The door opened she heard Tony Stark’s loud voice calling a greeting to someone who laughed a bit high pitched for her liking.  
“Thanks babe. See ya later.”  
Tony winked to the girl and shut the door again.  
“Yo! Bruce! Grub’s here. Oh good morning sunshine. How does your head feel?”  
Maria brought a hand to her temple, which ached like she had fallen on it.  
“Not great. Where’s Natalie?”  
“Who? Oh you mean your roommate who hates my guts? She wasn’t invited.”  
Maria winced as she sat up completely, and a slight bit of vertigo hit her.  
“Invited? What on earth are you talking about? And where is my phone? I need to let her know I’m not dead.”  
“Relax. Of course you’re not dead. If you were, we’d all be in bed and wearing a lot less clothing. And I must say, you do pull off the morning after look well. Here, have a bagel and some cream cheese.”  
He thrust said bagel into her hands, and began munching on his own.  
Bruce suddenly appeared at Tony’s side, and he held out a familiar looking piece of technology,  
“This was in my pocket, for some reason. Clint texted you and I told him you were with us.”  
She smiled at him in relief, and accepted the phone,  
“Thank you.”  
“Please excuse my idiotic roommate. He’s always horny after a good night of partying.”  
Bruce glared at his friend, who merely raised his hands in surrender.  
“I know, I know, I can never get enough. So sue me. You’d lose.” He grinned broadly, and ran a hand through his messy dark hair, styling it in a ‘devil may care’ fashion.  
“Why don’t you just go over and let her know you’re okay?” Bruce piped up, and Maria looked at him in confusion. Over and up a few floors perhaps.  
Bruce swallowed,  
“Erm. Natalie is with Clint and Steve. Apparently she spent the night.”  
Tony’s eyes lit up.  
“Oh reeeally? That’s interesting. Perhaps Steve finally gave up his ‘V’ card.”  
Maria burst out into nervous giggles, and Bruce frowned at Tony.  
“That’s not very nice of you to say. He told us that in confidence.”  
“Psh. He was drunk. That doesn’t count.” Tony nudged his friend and threw Maria a wry smile,  
“A man shouldn’t go that long without getting laid. It’s not normal. I’m glad Natalie was the girl for the job.”  
Maria hiccupped, and the laughter stopped,  
“What? You’re not serious? He’s older than me! And goodness knows I’m not a virgin . . . er-”   
She glanced hesitantly at Bruce, but he didn’t appear scandalized. He shrugged in agreement.  
“Everyone lost it their first year of college. At least that’s what I thought.”  
Tony nodded, as his mouth was too full to allow words out.  
Maria cleared her throat, and stood up,  
“Okay, well thank you for breakfast, but I should go meet Natalie. You guys stay out of trouble.”  
She hurried on the last sentence as she felt uncomfortable under Bruce’s concerned gaze.  
He held the door open for her wordlessly, and she tried not to blush.  
“Bye.” He muttered, long after she had already stepped into the hallway.  
She turned around just in time to see the door slid shut.  
***  
After a couple of soft knocks on the door, Steve finally noticed, and rushed to open it, finding Maria, still in her party dress, and looking slightly disheveled.   
“Hi.”  
“Please, come in.”  
Steve backed away from the door and gestured inwards.  
Maria stepped in timidly, glancing about for her roommate, and not seeing her, turned back to the blond police officer,  
“Isn’t Nat here? Bruce said he’d gotten a text . . .”  
Steve nodded abruptly, cutting off the rest of the rambling sentence she had been trying to form.  
“She’s in the shower-with Clint. I think.”  
He looked slightly embarrassed.   
She shrugged,  
“They are old friends. I’m sure it’s just to conserve water.”  
Steve let out a cough that almost resembled a laugh, and turned back to the stove,   
“Have you had breakfast? Would you like some eggs and bacon?”  
“Oh no thank you. Tony ordered in and they shared some with me.”  
She looked down at her high heel clad feet. That had sounded a lot dirtier than she had meant. Tony’s hyper sexual way of speaking was starting to get to her.  
Laughter sounded from a far room and Maria looked back up to find Natalie and Clint walking out of a room, toweling each other’s hair dry.  
Natalie was clearly wearing a shirt and pair of Clint’s pants and she seemed to have her black dress thrown over her shoulder.  
She noticed Maria and beamed,  
“Hey! When did you get here?”  
“Just a minute ago.”  
Natalie tossed the towel at Steve, who caught it, surprise clear on his face,  
“Nice reflexes, Captain. See ya later Clint.”  
She gripped Maria’s arm and steered her out of the apartment in the blink of an eye.  
***  
“Whew! That was close. So tell me, how did it go with Bruce? You did spend the night yeah?”  
Maria wrenched her arm free, whirling on her friend,  
“NO! I woke up in their living room! I hardly remember anything after that second shot of tequila.”  
“Wow. I forgot you were such a lightweight.”  
“That’s not funny. Anything could have happened. But tell me, why were you with them?” she jerked her thumb in the direction of the guys apartment, and Natalie rolled her eyes.  
“Chill. Nothing happened. We all passed out in Steve’s room. Oh, and we all got a look at Clint in his birthday suit. I forgot he likes to sleep naked.” She trailed off thoughtfully.  
“You showered with him so I gather you two are back together?”  
“God you are such a prude. No. He went first, he was done in like 5 minutes, and then I showered. So quick to think the worst.” She smirked.  
Maria threw open the door to their apartment and huffed in annoyance,  
“Well I am going to shower now, and when I get out, I never want to hear about last night again. Forget it ever happened.”  
Natalie shrugged, and then finally sighed in acknowledgment.  
“Fine. Whatever.”  
***  
Loki beamed at the sight of the dark green apron as it was handed to him.  
“This is your life now. Coffee. Wear it with pride.”   
“I will. Thank you sir.”   
Nick Fury eyed the slim dark haired youth cautiously, and then nodded.  
“You’ll do fine. Just don’t burn yourself or a customer.”  
He retreated back into his office, and dialed Phil’s number,  
“I think he’ll do fine. He certainly seems motivated. I wish half my employees were like him.”  
“Good! That’s wonderful. I’ll be down there on Friday, if he’s still there, and he can learn how to make my regular drink.”  
Nick chuckled,  
“Sounds like a plan. Take care Phil.”

 

***End Flashback***


	3. Mischief Maker

“I never agreed to dress like that. Besides, it’s only been two weeks. The bet was for a month.” Natalie scoffed, and Tony’s grin faded slightly.  
“He can do it. I have confidence.”  
Thor laughed aloud,  
“Of course he can. My brother is very stubborn, and strong willed. And he loves coffee. Fear not Tony, this lovely woman will be cleaning your apartment within the month.” He clapped Natalie on the back, and she couldn’t help grinning despite herself.  
When Loki strode over, handing out the various orders from the gang, she shrugged,   
“What the hell right? You only live once. Besides, I know I’ll look good in that.”  
She grabbed the outfit from Tony’s hands, and ignored the smug look on his face, and also the shocked one on Maria’s.  
Steve merely studied his Grande espresso with great interest, and Clint whistled,  
“You’ll have to take a few pictures of her for me. I’ll add them to my collection from school.”  
Tony gave him a mock salute, and dove in to his blueberry muffin.  
‘Heart attack in pastry form’ would have been a better name for it.  
Bruce never once said a word, but secretly he wished Maria would be the one to be waltzing around the apartment in a sexy outfit. Though now that he thought about it, it would mean Tony would see her like that. He didn’t want to take any chances Tony would fall for the quiet brunette.  
He had been too shy to speak to her since the day after Tony’s crazy party, and when he asked Natalie for help, she had warned him Maria was trying to block out the memory of the lack of memories from that night.  
Whatever that meant. Women could be so confusing sometimes.  
***  
Natalie finished her coffee in record time, and slowly made her way over to the counter, which Loki stood behind, working on another patrons order.  
“Psst! Loki.”  
He glanced around, and spotted her,  
“Yes? I’m a bit busy. If you could just be patient, I’ll be right with you, Ma’am.”  
He smirked as she rolled her eyes in annoyance.  
“Very funny.”  
She leaned against the counter, and when he finished the beverage and its owner walked away happy, he looked back over at her,  
“How can I help you miss?”  
Natalie frowned,  
“Cut the crap. I know you’re showing me up by holding this job and good for you. What I want in return is for you to help Maria get a job here as well. She needs it. She’s driving me crazy with her writers block, and I want her to be able to help with the rent as well. What I make at the library barely lets us scrape by. Even without Tony’s underhanded help.” She glanced over to where the gang sat, and her eyes lingered on the billionaire playboy in question.  
Loki’s dark eyebrows rose in surprise,  
“He’s loaning you money? No wonder you don’t mind the prospect of cleaning house for him. I’d say he deserves it. Even while wearing that outfit too.” He smirked again.  
Natalie shrugged.  
“Maria doesn’t actually know. I didn’t want her to feel bad.”  
Loki’s face became serious,  
“Don’t worry. I may kid around a lot, but I understand. Once I win the bet,” At this he smirked, “I’ll see what I can do. After all, I mooched off of Thor for the last year, I owed it to him to start working too. Until I figure out what I’m going to do for real.” He scowled at the counter, and began busying himself with wiping it down.  
“All right, thanks. Mum’s the word okay?”  
Natalie gazed at him, each of their green eyes unblinking, and Loki nodded, reaching to shake her hand.  
She took it, and the instant their hands separated, his face became playful again,  
“Now did I hear you needed another coffee? That’ll be four dollars and thirty cents Ma’am.”  
***  
Clint smiled as Natalie rejoined him on the couch, and continued to ignore Steve’s pathetically whiny face.   
Tony didn’t bother pretending.  
“You on your period or something policeman? You look like you missed the biggest group of jaywalkers.”  
Steve turned his glare over his way,  
“Excuse me? And just how much good have you accomplished today?”  
Tony looked over at Bruce and laughed,  
“Well if designing a new air filter system for submarines counts as good, then, quite a bit actually.”  
Bruce downed his green tea frappicino and reached over to meet Tony’s extended fist.  
“Burn.”  
“Boys. Please. Relax. It’s Saturday afternoon. Why are we all lounging in a coffee shop instead of getting ready to go clubbing?” Natalie piped up, and Clint grinned,  
“I agree. But the answer is because we’re all still burned out from Tony’s incredible party last week.”  
Everyone nodded in agreement, except Maria, who pretended not to have heard.  
Thor raised his mug of coffee,  
“To many more parties like the Starks!”  
“Salude! Cheers! All that good stuff.” Everyone exclaimed, and even Loki met the toast from behind the counter with his iced tea.  
“But seriously. What is everyone up to?” Clint asked the group, and Bruce shrugged,  
“I don’t know about you, but I’ve still got a few more blueprints to go over with my partying partner.” He grabbed Tony in a headlock, and mussed his hair until the genius began to protest.  
“Lame.” Clint scoffed and then turned to Natalie,   
“Hey, you know we haven’t had a movie night in a while, it’s cheap, since we can’t all be like moneybags over here and rent out the theater, and it’s easy to eat pizza with.”  
Natalie couldn’t argue with that.  
Steve didn’t bother asking if he was invited, as it was clear the two old friends were already planning the night without him.


	4. Pizza Party

Thor decided to stick around and wait until Loki had finished his shift. As it was still his first week, he was only working a short six hours a day schedule.  
At seven sharp, Loki untied his dark green apron, and rolled it neatly, placing it in his small cubby beside the time clock. He waved goodbye to Nick, and ran out to join Thor, who gave him a large hug.  
“Congrats brother! You’ve joined the rest of us in the great rat race.”  
“Woo capitalism.” Loki added with a touch of sarcasm.  
“Where shall we go to celebrate?”  
“Home? I’m rather tired, and I smell like coffee. I doubt I’ll get any sleep for the next few hours.”  
Thor grinned widely,  
“Perhaps we can crash Clint and Natalie’s pizza party, if we bring a pie of our own.”  
Loki nodded,  
“That’s a good idea. They should be done with at least one movie by now.”  
Thor waved a taxi over, and the brothers began their journey home.  
***  
“Did you say you wanted pepperoni or meat lovers?”  
“I didn’t say either, because you didn’t ask me until now.”  
“Oh god. Don’t pout. It’s unattractive.”  
Steve glared at Clint, and couldn’t help acknowledging that he was probably right. But he wasn’t about to admit it. He was lucky Natalie had made a discreet trip to the powder room, lest she catch him arguing with him currently infuriating roommate.  
Clint shrugged, raising his hands in defeat,  
“If you want to make me the bad guy, fine. But you gotta face facts, Nat likes guys like me. Even though we broke up a long time ago, there’s a reason she hasn’t dated anyone since. Not because I’ve sabotaged anyone, but because she’s picky.”  
“What do I need to do, to be cooler?”  
“It’s not about ‘cool.’ It’s about her. You’ve got to be able to put up with all of her. She’s more than a hot ass. Which she is, granted. But there’s so much going on in that sexy red haired brain of hers, you gotta be willing to accept it.”  
“Did I hear hot ass? Is the next movie a porno?”  
Steve gulped as he and Clint both turned to find their lovely companion re-entering the living room.  
“Uhhhh no, I was just saying the peppers on the pizza are not as hot as jalapeños. Just a bit spicy.” Steve glanced at Clint, amazed at how easily he had covered his own ass.  
Natalie smiled,  
“I like a little bite to my pizza. Get the one with everything.”  
A knock sounded on the front door, and Natalie sent Clint a puzzled look.  
“Are we expecting company? Or are the pizza guys psychic?”  
***  
Bruce exhaled a large cloud of sweet smoke, and wearily lifted his eyes open, to see Tony pacing around the living room floor.  
“What on earth is up with you?”  
Tony frowned, and brought his hand to his temple,  
“I’m just having trouble working out all the kinks to this system. I hate to admit it, but Steve was right. I didn’t technically accomplish much today.”  
Bruce shrugged, and took a long drag on the joint, before exhaling again,  
“Don’t let him get to you. He’s just jealous you’re so awesome. He’s not happy at his job. He can’t get laid. He’s a loser compared to you.”  
Tony smiled slightly,  
“I know. But I still feel a little bad for him. Chasing after what he can’t have. There’s no one who would say no to me.”  
At this he grinned broadly,  
“Speaking of which, I should give Pepper a call. See if she won’t have dinner with me. To make nice of course.”  
“Just nice? Nothing else?” Bruce giggled.  
Tony chuckled despite himself,  
“Maybe that new stuff is a little too strong. I don’t want her coming down here and getting you kicked out. Maybe you should slow down.”  
Bruce nodded in agreement, and snuffed out the joint in the nearest ashtray.  
Tony pulled out his cell phone and dialed Pepper’s cell number. He’d managed to swipe her phone at his party and program his number in, so she’d know it was him. He’d also taken the liberty of giving himself a text alert and specific ringtone.  
***  
The ‘Jaws’ theme song began to emanate from Pepper’s purse as she stood in her kitchen, debating what to have that evening for dinner.  
She sighed deeply, and reluctantly walked over to the counter where her purse lay, and she reached in to answer her phone.  
“Yes Mister Stark, what do you need?”  
“Mmmm so accommodating. Good to know. Nothing too taxing. Nothing to do with rent or work. For one minute, just forget you’re my landlady. Listen to my thought.”  
Pepper suddenly felt as if she was getting a migraine, listening to the man ramble, and she sunk into one of her kitchen chairs, head falling into her hands,  
“What on earth do you want? I was having a nice day. Until now.”  
“Now. Don’t be so hostile. I want to take you to dinner. Somewhere nice. Anywhere you like. We can even take a limo if that’s what it takes. I want to show you I’m not a bad guy. I want a fresh start. What do you say?”  
Pepper hated to admit it, but a nice dinner out sounded pretty good. Her freezer was despairingly empty of TV dinners, her usual fare, and her fridge was just as despondent.  
Unenthusiastically, she answered him,  
“Alright. What time did you want to leave?”  
“How’s eight o’clock sound?”  
“Good.”  
“Great. See ya then.”  
“Goodbye.”  
CLICK.  
Pepper stared at the tile floor, all her plans of the evening forgotten; now she had to go get ready to have dinner with the bane of her existence, and better yet, he was trying to make it into a truce.  
***  
Thor and Loki made a rowdy, albeit welcome entrance to the movie watching, pizza eating, and slightly awkward party Steve, Clint and Natalie had been having.  
The brothers had brought several deep dish style pizzas, which the guys quickly tore into.  
Natalie, meanwhile, busied herself with finding the next movie the friends could watch. As she was browsing the guys collection of films for something exciting, but not too much of a chick flick, she felt Clint come over to stand by her,  
“I hope this is okay. The boys being here. I didn’t know.”  
Natalie waved a hand about,  
“Pssh. It’s not a bother. Thor’s great, and Loki’s not that bad of company. I just feel bad that Maria’s stuck at home all alone.”  
Clint frowned,  
“Text her. Tell her to come over. It’ll mean more girl power for you.”  
Natalie laughed,  
“I think I can hold my own, but I will. Give me a second here.”  
When she sent the text, and got a quick reply in the negative, she shrugged. Maria really couldn’t stand Loki so much she would rather sulk in their room than bother making an effort to socialize.  
'Lame. Did you want Bruce’s # so you can sext him if you get bored?'-N.R.  
She sent Maria the text, and braced herself for an angry reply.  
It came quickly.  
'NO THANK YOU. I would never. I don’t even know him. Don’t help me! Have fun with your guys.'-M.H.  
'OK. Your loss. ;) '–N.R.  
She put her phone away, and walked back over to the kitchen, holding out the DVD for everyone to see,  
“How’s Episode five sound?”  
An overall resounding cheer and a loud whoop from Thor was her answer.  
Star Wars was always a good fallback.


	5. First Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For texts, in Word i have them bold and italic, depending on who's who, and unfortunately i lose that all here, so for now work with me.

Pepper sat up straight, and tried not to play with her cutlery. She was looking about the restaurant in a desperate effort to avoid meeting the gaze of the man who was sitting opposite her. It was very crowded for a Sunday night, so it wasn’t a challenge to do this. Eventually he cleared his throat and began speaking,  
“Do you like shellfish? Or do you prefer red meat? Or are you a vegetarian? They have all sorts here.”  
He raised his left eyebrow at her, and she finally snapped.  
“Why did you ask me to dinner if you’re just going to mock me all night?”  
She could have bit her tongue as soon as the words had left her mouth, knowing he would jump on the last few.  
He did indeed.  
He answered with a smirk,  
“Did you plan on staying over? I’d need to kick out my roommate Bruce . . . But you know that.”  
Abandoning decorum, she tossed her long strawberry blond waves over her shoulder in anger, as her right hand flew up to begin combing through them,  
“See? It’s crap like that that makes me wonder how on earth you would survive in the real world if you didn’t have your rich father to rely on.”  
This time when Tony’s eyebrows rose in tandem, it was not a means to look seductive, but rather in true surprise.  
“My rich daddy? He hardly helps. You see, I inherited something much more important, without having to wait for my old man to die. His intellect.” He tapped his forehead with two fingers and gave her a mock salute.  
Pepper gulped. She knew when she had been beaten.  
“I apologize. That was rude of me to say. I’ll have the surf and turf. If you still wish to eat with me. I’d understand if you made me walk home.”  
She glanced out the window, and winced at the pouring rain. Perhaps she had just nailed her own coffin shut.  
Tony shook his head, a smile appearing across his handsome face once more,  
“Don’t worry. I like that you live up to your name. Fiery, and a bit spicy. Let’s order.”  
He raised his hand and the waiter appeared as if by magic.  
***  
Phil found himself growing tired of watching reality TV, and he reached over, flipped open his phone, and texted Pepper a quick hello.  
He busied himself with making a snack of banana slices and peanut butter, and when he returned to where he had set his phone, he was surprised to see no answer. Usually Pepper responded promptly, especially to him. He frowned, and pressed TALK.  
It rang over a dozen times before finally clicking over to her voicemail.  
That was unusual. He left a simple cheery message and hung up. Perhaps she was in a movie, or the elevator.  
He instead scrolled down and texted Nick, his other best friend.  
The reply was nearly instant, and Phil grinned at the screen.  
 _'Done reciting your lines already Agent Cool?_ '-NF  
He typed a quick reply,  
 **'Nah, got tired of the same ol fools on IDOL**.'-ME  
After exchanging pleasantries, Phil asked if Nick had seen Pepper that day in the café, but he answered in the negative.  
Phil checked the time stamp on his call, it had been nearly two hours. Pepper must be really busy.  
 **'Don’t party too late. Even though you work in that coffee laden shop, a man’s gotta have zzz’s.** '-ME  
' _Same to you man. No one likes actors with bags under their eyes on daytime tv. Later.'_ -NF  
***  
Pepper grinned like a schoolgirl as she gently shut the door. Tony had walked her home without ever trying anything too scandalous. Just a peck on the cheek and a goodnight. Considering all the ways the night could have gone, it had turned out very well. All the bad stuff had evened itself out, and Tony wasn’t actually half bad.  
Check that. He was half bad and half good. Sometimes he just tended towards the bad, at least when it came to paying rent on time.  
She kicked off her nude pumps, which had grown a bit tight after the bit of walking they had done once the rain had stopped. They had sheltered in the restaurant nearly three hours, stretching out dessert with coffee. Now she worried she might not be able to fall asleep. Her mind was wide awake, even if her legs and the rest of her body protested in exhaustion.  
‘No alarms tomorrow.’ She mumbled to herself.  
When she had changed into her comfier clothes, she pulled out her blackberry, finding two missed calls from Phil and a handful of texts ranging from,  
" _HI what are you up to?_ " To, " _Hey. Ignoring friends ain’t cool._ " To finally, _"Don’t make me suit up and use my fake badge to search for you."_  
She giggled a bit at the last one, and quickly typed back,  
 **"I’m fine ‘dad.’ I just got home from a date. Sorry I worried you. <3**"  
***  
Natalie woke up with the taste of pizza still on her tongue. The movie pizza party had gone so well she had stayed over past midnight, and crawled home, forgetting to brush her teeth in the meantime it seemed.  
“Are you up yet?” Maria’s voice sounded rather shrill, considering there had been no alcohol consumption at the party.  
Or was there?  
“Ouagh.” Natalie managed to groan out, and then she felt the hammer like blow to her temples. The boys had been mixing coke and rum, and she couldn’t remember how many cups of the mix she had consumed.  
Quite a few according to her aching head.  
“How late were you out?”  
Natalie sat up slowly, and squinted at her distressed roommate,  
“Why do you care? You could have been there. I seem to recall inviting you. So don’t go all ‘mom’ on me. You’re just touchy because you’re on your period. And I seem to recall you denying quite fiercely you didn’t like Bruce. So again. What have you to complain about? Nothing. So shut up. And get me some orange juice and coffee. Separated preferably.”  
She added the last bit as the thought of combining the two sent her head spinning.  
Maria shook her head in frustration as she stomped back out to the kitchen.  
She tended to mutter when she was too annoyed to be confrontational. Natalie caught a few phrases,  
“--Can’t think straight just cause I can’t—“--“I don’t like him. So what? I wasn’t even complaining—“--”Sure make me the bad guy just cause I –“  
Natalie rolled her eyes and fell back against the pillows, exhaling deeply. She wondered just how long it would take before Maria was so worked up she would practically beg for Bruce’s number. She grinned impishly; she wasn’t the only one who could cause mischief around here.


	6. Time to Collect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my long absence, Working two jobs ain't pretty. Enjoy!

Another couple weeks later, and the gang was back at Central Perk. Tony looked a bit like the cat that had gotten the canary, as he kept eyeing Natalie, until she finally cracked.

“What on earth is the matter? Did I get some whipped cream above my eyebrows or something?”

He grinned, and merely stretched out his hand before replying,

“Pay up.”                                                   

She sneered at his hand.

“Why should I? It’s only been three weeks.”

Tony shook his head, and whipped out his smartphone, quickly pulling up the calendar app to show her, it had in fact been 4 weeks since they had made the bet concerning Loki.

Natalie rolled her eyes,

“Did you forget the week he was out sick with a cold? Yeah that doesn’t count as working.”

Around the room, heads nodded in agreement, including Thor,

“You can’t argue that point Tony. He was stuck on the couch, watching soaps and drinking peppermint tea every day until he could stand and walk around without coughing and sneezing.”

Tony shook his head,

“We didn’t discuss specifics. During his sick leave, he was still employed, so the bet stands. And you owe me.”

Internally Steve winced, it seemed Natalie was indeed caught, though he half wished Clint had made the bet, in a good hearted ribbing to his best friend. Unfortunately, the genius playboy would be the one watching the red haired siren walk around in a skimpy French maid outfit.

Natalie sighed, and her head fell into her hands, as she mumbled,

“Okay fine. You win.”

***

Clint thoughtfully stirred the homemade tomato soup Steve had blended up, and he wondered just where his culinary genius minded friend had gotten too.

“STEVE! Yo Steve-o!” he called back towards the peace officer in questions bedroom, and was relieved when the sandy blond haired man peeked out,

“I’m not sure what I’m doing here, and I don’t want to mess up dinner. I’m fucking starved. Get your ass over here and make sure it’s ok. What are you so pissy about anyway?”

Clint was by no means blind. He knew Steve had a bit of crush on his best friend Natalie, but there was no reason he couldn’t play the field a bit to help catch her attention.

“What say we go out on the town after we finish this little Food Network experiment eh?” Clint nudged his roommate in the ribs, and yet got barely any reaction.

Lovesick indeed.

Steve shrugged,

“I don’t really feel in much of a partying mood. Work was tiring today.”

Clint scoffed,

“How so? Ticketing speeders and pulling over overcharging taxicabs wear you out?”

Steve glanced over at him,

“Didn’t he tell you?”

Clint’s brow furrowed in confusion, making him resemble a grumpy cat,

“Who tell me what?”

Steve sighed,

“I ended up pulling Bruce over, and unfortunately for him, he had an ounce of pot on him. So I had to fine him. But of course when he called Stark, he said it was no problem. That guy always manages to one up me. Even when I’m just doing my job. He makes me feel so stupid.”

Clint shrugged this time,

“Hey so the guy’s rich enough to help out his friend. So what? That doesn’t make you look bad. It makes your job easier. You didn’t have to jail him or anything. No muss no fuss. Is that damn soup done yet?”

Clint ended the subject firmly, and Steve decided not to press the issue any further, though he disagreed.

“Yep. Got your bowl and crackers ready?”

***

“Don’t you feel the least bit bad?” Thor asked his brother, who sat lounging on the very couch he had spent the last week recuperating on.

He was turned away from his brother, so he smirked freely,

“Bad? Oh yes. Poor Natalie, forced to do tedious manual labor. I feel awful. Besides you know as much as I do that the science guys apartment probably has needed cleaning for more than the last month. She won’t be hurt, she’ll do some good. He will be paying her. It’s not slave labor if you’re paid for work.”

Thor ran a hand through his long blond surfer waves.

“Maybe you could go a bit easy on her. She has to do more than resort to manual labor. She owes you 100 dollars does she not?”

Loki’s eyebrows rose in surprise, he had forgotten that aspect of the bet. In fairness, it had been made over a month ago now.

“Correct you are brother. What shall we do with my newfound riches?” he turned to grin at Thor, who shrugged amicably,

“Do you know any nice girls we could take out on the town?” his sheepish grin said perhaps he had been thinking about doing that regardless of Loki’s recent windfall.

Loki pursed his lips in thought,

“I have an idea where I could find a couple, but it might cost more than a humble 100 dollars. Give me a couple days to plan it out alright?”

Thor nodded eagerly; it had been a long time since either brother had been out with people other than their friends.

***

It was the third day of her punishment, as Maria referred to it. More accurately, holding up her end of the bet which she had, to her great regret, lost.

Natalie was simply dusting off the counters, and began to reach for a second rag to buff the marble with, when she felt a pair of hands at her waist.  
The thin and rather skimpy, if she was honest, maid costume felt like a slip on her. The hands moved and gripped her tightly, turning her around, revealing the owner, a smiling Tony Stark.

Natalie rolled her eyes,  
"What do you want? I thought you were working on something important in your office, not to be disturbed." She stared at him impatiently, rag still clutched in her hand.  
Tony gave her a funny look, almost serious, and for once had no smart remark, when he suddenly leaned forward, pressing his lips to her own.

She had time to blink, and then it was as if everything slowed down a bit.

He pulled her closer, and began to move his lips against hers, using his tongue to beg for entrance to her mouth. This was where she drew the line. She pulled away, dropped the rag, and reached out with both hands to push away from him.

"What the hell? I mean, we had a thing once. It was nice. But we've been done for months. What's going on?"  
Tony looked crestfallen.  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I just thought maybe . . . I don't know. I only made this bet so I could have a chance at being around you. To test the waters I guess. All the banter we get up to, well I didn't know if it meant anything to you anymore or if it was just banter."

Natalie's face softened from the outraged glare she had been sending him,

"Tony. I'm like that with everyone. It's just how I show affection. I love you, I do. Like a crazy, rich, annoying brother."

She gave him a sad smile, and he looked as if the truth had finally dawned on him.

"I see. Of course. No wonder our Patriot is so smitten. He thinks, like I did that-"

She cut him off with a finger to his lips,  
"That's different. He's something else. I don't know yet. But don't worry. You didn’t bother me really. It was nice. Even if it meant nothing. You're a good kisser Stark. But don’t think this means you have no chance with good looking girls. Or did that dinner with Pepper a few days back mean nothing?"

She beamed at him and he smirked back, his hands freeing her from their close embrace,

"Great. Glad to hear it. Breaks over, get back to work. Another half hour should do it. Then you can scoot. Thanks for the reminder about our fierce landlady." He turned to go, and she resumed wiping the counter, but was startled by a slap on her bottom, and she yelped, wheeling to see him still smirking,

"Don’t forget who's the boss around here babe."

She shook her head, bottom still tingling, and again returned to her chores.

Bruce, who had been slightly eavesdropping from the bedroom, leaned back in his chair, slowly inhaling on his joint, thoughtfully pondering the insanity of Natalie and Tony's friendship.  
He had no clue the two had ever dated, at least formally. However, Tony's idea of dating meant regularly screwing the same woman every night. Not exactly the most romantic definition.


	7. Awkwardness

As soon as Natalie had left, Bruce confronted his roommate.

“Spill. What’s really going on with you and our neighbor’s friend?”

Tony spun around in his work chair to face his grim faced friend,

“I guess you were spying on me huh? I’m sure even you can figure it out. I hit on her, she turned me down. Simple as that.”

Bruce frowned,

“Why did you really make the bet about her cleaning house? Especially dressing like that?” Bruce made a vague gesture in the direction of the kitchen, and Tony shrugged.

“I thought it would be funny. And it made Maria annoyed. Double win. Besides, though I wouldn’t press the matter, she technically owes me some real money, this is just an easy way to pay me back. Three guesses she’ll still ask for the extra 100 bucks to pay our favorite prankster.”

Bruce eyebrows rose and nearly disappeared into his dark brown bangs,

“Natalie owes you serious money? How much?”

Tony shrugged again,

“I don’t really keep track of it, but I’ve floated her a few loans for rent here and there. She doesn’t make much at the dinky library you know.”

Bruce rolled his eyes,

“Then why don’t you get her hired at your dad’s company? Instead of turning her into your kept woman.”

Tony raised his own eyebrows in surprise,

“Well. Look how fast you went off the cliff of conclusions. I have never, will never, use that kind of phrasing about her. I’ve never forced her to do anything uncouth to pay me back. She doesn’t _have_ to pay me back. I’m not the government. I can afford a few rent payments for a friend. A good looking friend.” He grinned, and then seemed to recall what Bruce had suggested.

“Now that you mention it, I might be able to hire her as my assistant part time. If only for coffee and bun runs. Or pizza, as the mood hits. Then she could be helping both of us. How does that sound?”

Bruce appeared to think it over for a moment, and then he nodded.

“That sounds fair. She could still keep her library job right?”

Tony nodded,

“Oh yeah. It would only be a couple days a week. And obviously I could work around that other schedule of hers.”

***

Natalie arrived back home, and Maria was sitting at their kitchen island, tapping her foot in the barstool rung.

“Well? How did your punishment go? And is he paying you anything?”

Natalie shrugged, and deftly slipped out of the maid uniform, leaving her in a simple white lace bra and panty set.

Maria tried to ignore her. Natalie was the type to walk around half naked at any given moment.

“Was Bruce there?” she finally relented, knowing the question would get an answer for certain.

“Oh I think so. I didn’t see him, but I bet he was hiding around the corner watching me clean.” Natalie smirked at her friend, and stalked over to the fridge, bending over to peruse the contents, practically shoving her curvy rear in Maria’s line of sight.

She huffed in annoyance,

“Well. If you behaved like that, I have no idea why you bother trying to set _me_ up with him. You could have him on a platter.”

Natalie straightened back up, recognizing her roommates unspoken hurt, and reading it all over her face.

“Oh honey. I didn’t mean it like that. Tony was actually the one who supervised.” She pulled her friend into a brief but tight embrace, and felt Maria relax a bit.

“What did he say? Do you still have to go over every night to clean for a month? Or will he let you off in a week?”

Natalie shrugged,

“It’s not a set thing. I can go over every other night, or every night. He’s not a jailer. He’s a nice guy.”

After she had set the glass from which she had downed four ounces of straight vodka, Maria gasped.

Natalie whirled around, seeing nothing, then turned back to her friend,

“What?”

Maria pointed at her face,

“Didn’t you go over there with red lipstick on?”

“Yeees. Why?”

“It’s all worn off. And it’s not on that glass. Who have you been kissing?”

“Oh jeeze. Relax.”

“He made you do it! Didn’t he? He took advantage of you! And who could blame him, when you wore that outfit.  It’s a good thing no one else saw you. I’m going over there right now to give him a piece of my mind.” Maria jumped down from the barstool, and began striding towards their front door.

Natalie coughed, and then held out her hand,

“I wouldn’t do that.”

Maria whirled on her,

“Why the hell shouldn’t I? If he molested you I owe all of womankind to beat him up.”

Natalie cringed, waiting for the incoming blow her way,

“He didn’t. I let him. Because honestly? He’s handsome, rich, smart, and a damn good kisser. Besides, we used to be fuck buddies. Back in the first few months after he moved in here.”

Maria stood frozen, mouth agape, and Natalie smiled slightly,

“Don’t do that. You’ll catch flies.”


	8. Yelling Hurts Even a Superhero's Ears

A sudden beeping on Clint’s phone alerted him to a text from Natalie.

It read,

**S.O.S. MARIA’S ABOUT TO GO NUCLEAR. POSSIBLY KILLING AND/OR MAIMING TONY. GET OVER HERE PRONTO.-NR**

“Oh boy.” He muttered aloud, and Steve glanced over at him,

“What’s up?”

“Nat’s in trouble. We’ve gotta get home.” Clint gazed wistfully over at the pair of blond twins he had been three sips of beer away from going over and chatting up and reluctantly dropped a twenty on the bar to cover their drinks.

“Let’s go.”

Steve raised his eyebrows at him in surprise, and shrugged, following him out the door.

***

“ _YOU.DID.WHAT?!”_

“It’s not a big deal. It was just one kiss. Considering our history, it’s like the first leaf of fall.”

That, it seemed, had been the wrong thing to say. Maria started moving again, and began heading toward where Natalie stood, behind the island for safety.

“You never told me anything! We’re best friends! Roommates. Why?”

“Because you seemed to really hate him. I didn’t want you getting the wrong idea. I mean, sure, we flirt a lot back and forth, but it’s mostly to tease Clint, who never approved either. And now it’s more to rile Steve. It’s just too easy.” She smiled slightly at the thought of the handsome blond policeman.

Maria threw up her hands in frustration,

“Of course I hate him! He’s a playboy. He’s everything a girl like me or you should avoid.”

Natalie was slowly losing patience,

“He’s a perfectly nice guy. He treats any girl whom he dates, or even just sleeps with, very courteously.”

“Oh right. Cause you would know.”

Natalie arched a red brow in response,

“Yes I would. In fact, for your information, roomie, Tony Stark is the reason we have been able to stay in this apartment.” She gestured around angrily at the large living room and general space.

“And _FYI,_ being a librarian doesn’t exactly pay the bills, or at least leave room for food or any sort of luxury. I didn’t say anything before, because I know you’re trying, really hard. Writing or whatever you do. But honestly, it wouldn’t hurt if you could just get any kind of a job, and pick up the slack. There. I said it. Happy?”

Maria gaped at her friend in shock. This was far worse than her friend simply having a past with Stark. Owing him money? For their very own livelihood? How depressing was that?

“All this time. I thought . . . I thought you understood. I’m an artist. It takes time for my work to be appreciated. I’ve been running around like crazy trying to find an agent and then a publisher. And you think I’m slacking?”

“All that does is burn taxicab money and gas. That I pay for. So yeah. I don’t think too much of your ‘starving artist’ excuse. Sorry.”

Natalie didn’t appear sorry at all, in fact, her face was starting to resemble her hair. The harsh spots of color on her cheeks spread all the way down her neck until even her neck and chest were slightly pink. Anyone who knew her knew better than to push her this far. Things would start getting broken if she didn’t calm down. For though she had indeed majored in Russian Literature, she had minored in Self Defense, including karate, mixed martial arts, and in general, ass kicking central.

***

Luckily, at that moment, before Maria could utter another inflaming word, the front door burst open, and Clint and Steve strode in.

Steve ducked his head and averted his gaze a few seconds too late, and now the image of an enraged half naked Natalie was seared onto his brain.

Clint, who had seen her in far less clothing and more precarious positions, was undeterred. He walked over and gently pulled her away from Maria, taking care to restrain her twitchy fists.

“It’s okay. I’m here.”

He twirled her around and pulled her close. He was the only one who could calm her down. Maria slowly edged backwards, still slightly in shock. At least they hadn’t gotten to exchanging blows.

She turned to find Steve still facing the door, absentmindedly observing the few copies of famous paintings the girls had scattered around the living room.

“Nice Monet.” He mumbled, barely lifting a finger to point towards it, and Maria nodded numbly.

“Yep. Monet. It always comes back to it.”

Steve glanced over at her, getting the general vibe she wasn’t exactly on the same train of thought as he was. Unfortunately, looking her way also meant catching a glimpse of still only underwear clad Natalie, now enveloped in Clint’s arms.

He whipped around again, firmly determined not to look that way again.

He also tried not to overhear what they were saying. He failed.

“Let’s go get you changed into something more comfortable. You need to get some rest. Did you eat anything today?”

Natalie’s reply was muffled by the fact her face was buried in his shirt clad chest.

Clint laughed a bit,

“What was that?”

Natalie pulled back, and met his gaze, with a sleepy grin,

“Nope. I just had a few cups of coffee. I had to fit into that horror of a costume remember?” Clint glanced over, seeing said discarded item lying on the couch, and couldn’t argue. It was pretty small.

“Okay. Point taken. Let’s go.”

He walked with her, still holding her close, to the bedroom door which proudly exclaimed,

**NATALIE’S LAIR-KEEP OUT**

**THIS MEANS YOU MARIA.**

**UNLESS THERE’S A PARTY TO GO TO.**

**IN WHICH CASE IGNORE LINES 1 AND 2.**


	9. Retreat

Tony meanwhile, was completely, blissfully, ignorant of the shenanigans going on in the apartment next to his. That was, until a very loud and insistent pounding on his front door began.

Bruce poked his head into the office,

“That couldn’t be Pepper, could it? Do you think she found out about—” he jerked a thumb towards the kitchen, his meaning clear.

Tony grinned,

“Unless you spilled the beans, I don’t think so. Could you please go answer that? It’s giving me a headache.”

Bruce sighed, and retreated, walking over to the door, and he pulled it open just as a small fist tried to knock again.

Instinct kicked in, and he brought up his hand to catch the punch, gripping it tightly, he pulled forward, propelling the owner of the fist inside, and a small mewl of pain sounded. He blinked, and found himself holding the fist of Maria Hill.

“I’m so sorry.” He dropped her hand instantly, as if he had been burned.

She winced and flexed her fingers a few times,

“It’s okay. Serves me right for trying to break down the door.”

“Are you alright?” his brown eyes met her dark cobalt ones with concern, and she shrugged,

“I’m fine. You’ve got a good grip though. Are you a ninja in addition to being a scientist?” she smiled at him, and he chuckled before replying,

“No I’m afraid not. Perhaps all my smoking has given me a superhuman reaction time. Imagine that. Smoking weed makes you stronger.”

Maria was slightly transfixed by his kind and trustworthy face, before remembering just why she had stormed over there in the first place.

She coughed slightly,

“Is your um, roommate around?” she glanced over his shoulders, towards the other two closed doors that were across from the kitchen and what appeared to be a gaming center, complete with twin large flat screen TVs.

Bruce gulped, he had a bit of an inkling why she needed to see his friend, and it wouldn’t be pretty.

“Ah yeah. I think he’s working right now. Could you come back later?”

Maria simply glared at him, all mirth gone from her lovely face. She actually looked quite attractive even as she looked as fierce as an angry mother bear.

“Erm. Yes. Hold on just a minute. I’ll . . . inform him of your presence.”

Bruce shook his head as he hurried to Tony’s office. Suddenly it seemed he had lapsed into Ye Olde English phrasing. Was this what an angry Maria did to him?

He cracked the door to Tony’s office open, and put on a fake smile,

“Tony. There’s, ah, someone here to see you. They seem very disgruntled. With you. At you? You better come quickly.”

Even though his eyes never left his work, Tony smiled,

“Good idea. I bet I know who it is.”

***

Steve wasn’t exactly sure why he was still standing in the girls’ apartment, but then he heard the sound of heavy footfalls, and the gentle shutting of a door.

“Okay man we’re all clear. She’s going to sleep, and it’s good Maria is gone. It’ll help.”

A rough calloused hand clapped him on the shoulder, and Steve started, he hadn’t realized he had zoned out, simply staring at the painting of a lovely field of flowers.

“You alright?” Clint asked him, his voice slightly concerned.

Steve shrugged,

“Not really. Nothing a good game wouldn’t fix.”

Clint grinned broadly,

“That’s my boy. Let’s go back to the bar and see if those blondes are still there eh?” he gripped Steve’s arm and quickly led him out of the apartment and towards the elevator. They stopped momentarily at their own apartment for Clint to change out of the shirt Natalie had cried on, as it looked rather strange. Once ready to depart again, on the way to the elevator, they walked past the science guy’s apartment, and the sound of shattering glass, muffled only by the thin walls could be heard.

The two exchanged glances. So that’s where Maria had gone. They both felt rather bad for Tony, but not bad enough to bother intervening. Sometimes retreat was the best course of action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been MIA for so long, work has been madness and I've had a wicked spell of writers' block.


	10. All Hell

Loki felt his phone buzzing from half a cushion away, and lazily picked it up; unable to restrain a chuckle as he read the message on the screen.

**ALL HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE. MARIA IS BREAKING TONY’S STUFF. BETTER HOPE THEY HAVE INSURANCE.-CB**

Thor glanced over at his brother from where he lounged on the opposite side of the couch, the flickering TV screen having long lost his interest. He was also scrolling through his phone, and somehow still finding nothing of interest.

“What’s up?”

Loki grinned, and held the phone out,

“It appears something has upset Natalie’s roommate. Perhaps she told her I would be the one helping her get a job. Or something as volatile.”

Thor chuckled, and the sound seemed to echo about the room,

“Oh my. It seems brother that you have managed to wreak havoc without even trying.”

“I guess so.” Loki smiled and sent a quick reply, before turning his attention back to the TV.

**_I WILL BE SURE TO AVOID MY ANGRY NEIGHBOR FOR THE NEXT DAY OR SO.-L._ **

“What would you rather watch brother? More of this nonsense, or the newest zombie movie I picked up from the library today?”

Loki held up the case and gently shook it back and forth, and Thor gave no argument, insisting on putting it on. Anything was more engaging than reality TV. Heimdall leapt up onto the couch to join the brothers, from where he had been mewling on the floor. He was eager for a nap whilst being petted, and anything the humans watched would simply be background noise to him.

***

Eventually Maria did rush Tony and get in a good punch or two, but was stopped from causing any more damage than a profuse nosebleed. Not to mention the glass she had tossed at him, which he had ducked, causing it to shatter against the wall. Luckily, the entire gang still had shoes on, so no one’s feet were in any danger.

Tony clutched a dishrag to his streaming nose, and glared daggers at the brunette.

Bruce, for his part, wasn’t entirely opposed to his position of holding Maria tightly in his arms, but it was more to restrain her dangerous hands than a romantic gesture.

He was seconds from letting her go if she decided to kick him, when she relaxed in his arms, all the fight going out of her.

“Fine. You know what. Maybe you’re right. I overreacted.”

Tony raised his eyebrows,

“You think? You ought to know that Stark’s never make women do anything. They always _come_ willingly. Every time.”

 She couldn’t be sure, but she thought the way his eyes crinkled indicated he was smirking beneath the sodden red rag.

“Whatever. I’ve got to go check on Natalie. Hopefully she’s not mad at me anymore.” Maria sighed.

Bruce tentatively let go of her, and stepped back, eyeing her with caution as he fumbled in his pants pockets for a joint. All this confrontation was messing with his Chi.

Tony shook his head, and reached in his shirt pocket, which was splattered with blood, to fish out his lighter and the small baggie of joints. He tossed them to Bruce, who smiled gratefully.

Maria made a step towards Tony, who flinched, but she only took his hand, to shake it.

“Thank you for all your help. I understand why Nat was too proud to tell me. And she didn’t want to make me feel like a freeloader. Which I am. But soon, I hope to be working full time at Central Perk, and I’ll be sure to pay you back every cent.”

Tony looked from her hand back to her face, and he knew she was being completely honest with him. For all the fury she had shown moments earlier, she looked rather like a child who’d been scolded.

He shook her hand back, and gripped it gently, before dropping it.

“Don’t worry about paying any interest. Please tell Natalie I’m sorry if I ever made her feel guilty.”

She nodded, and then took her leave.

Bruce followed her with his gaze until the front door had clunked shut, and he sighed audibly, flicking the lighter until the end of the joint glowed bright orange. He took a deep drag, and exhaled slowly.

“Well. That went well. Did she break it?”

Tony gingerly pulled the rag away from his nose, and winced at the sight of all the blood, but after carefully probing along the bridge of his nose, he shook his head.

“Nah. It’s fine. I must have sensitive arteries or something. Probably from all the weed I breath every day.” he glared at Bruce, who merely shrugged, and made his way back to his bedroom, the cloud of sweet smoke still lingering in the kitchen air.

He raised his hand,

“Don’t worry. I’ll clean the glass up.”

“You better. It’s not my fault.” Bruce called back out and Tony shrugged,

“She’s lucky it wasn’t expensive crystal, or I’d still be mad.”


	11. Setting the Town On Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter of part two!

Pepper was pacing around her kitchen, muttering and swearing occasionally. It had been over two weeks since her night out with Tony Stark, and unless he had dropped off the face of the earth, he was ignoring her. Usually a guy would call within a few days for a second date. She hadn’t gotten any more bad vibes after she’d managed to nearly tear him a new one before even ordering, and the night had even ended with a nice goodnight peck.

Eventually she grew tired of stressing over it, and just dialed Phil. ‘He’d be able to provide some much needed insight, hopefully.’ She thought.

“Hello?”

“Hey Phil! It’s me.”

“Me. Ah of course. My favorite landlady and viewer.” She could almost hear the smile in his voice, and she gave a small chuckle,

“I’m your _only_ landlady, not sure if I’m the only viewer as well. . .”

A brief pause, and then Phil snorted,

“Bah. Unless you’re in a half million homes every Thursday night, then you’re not the only viewer.”

“Kidding! Of course. I know. You’re great. Last week’s episode killed me with the cliff hanger. Tell me, do you choose to rescue the girl, or the priceless work of art from sinking to the bottom of the Atlantic?”

“Mmm can’t say. What if you told Nick? Then I’d be in trouble. He doesn’t like having his soaps spoiled.”

Pepper sighed,

“True, I wouldn’t want to see him angry.”

“So what’s up? Surely you can’t be stuck at home all night? It’s Friday! Time to go out and party!”

“I’m not much for partying. I’m afraid I leave that to all my young tenants.”

“Young? Are you calling yourself old? Pepper. You’re not even thirty yet! Old is when you’re Nick’s age and still haven’t settled down. You’re young, pretty, smart as a whip, and a brilliant businesswoman to boot. Go get out there and set the town on fire!”

“Oh Phil. You’re too kind. The truth is, if a certain guy had given me any sort of indication, I would be happy to go out and ‘set the town on fire,’ as you call it.”

“What’s the matter Pepper?”

“You know I went on that date with Stark right?”

“Oooooh. Dating a tenant. Isn’t that illegal?”

“No! I’m not like a professor. I can do whatever I want with my tenants. . .that is, if I wanted to. But that’s not the point. I haven’t heard from him in ages! He did say he’d call for us to meet for sushi or something, but nothing. Zip. Nada.”

“Well, don’t you have his number? You certainly know where he lives.” Phil chuckled, and Pepper couldn’t resist cracking a tiny smile.

“I know. But I don’t want to seem weird or creepy.”

“’Weird?’ ‘Creepy?’ Pepper, where do you get these strange notions about yourself? Go over there, knock his door down, and kiss him senseless.”

“Phil—don’t be ridiculous. That only works in the movies. Besides, what if he’s got a girl with him? He could have moved on.”

“You’re _unforgettable_ Pepper. Trust me. I bet he’s just been distracted by work. Or perhaps you didn’t give off as positive a reaction as you think. Go see him. At least for closure.”

Pepper sighed again. She knew Phil was right. Even If Tony was _buried_ under a mass of writhing gorgeous females, she needed to say her peace.

“Thanks Phil. You’re the best. Have a good Friday night, don’t get too wild now okay?”

He laughed,

“Don’t worry. I’ll save some of the good times for you to have tomorrow or whenever you get Stark back.”

“Bye.”

“Goodbye.”

Pepper set her phone down, and glanced at her current attire. Not very sexy or dramatic. Her after-work-time-to-relax clothing consisted of black cotton pants and a dark navy flannel shirt. She would need something special to get Tony’s attention.

***

Natalie sat up slowly, and was surprised to feel a hand on her shoulder, warm and strong, slightly calloused.

“Am I naked?” she groaned out, and a deep chuckle echoed about her room.

“Nope. I didn’t try to touch you to get you changed. I decided I liked my nose where it was. Turns out both you and your roommate are quite capable at hand to hand combat.”

“Yeah well, Maria had a crush on my instructor and sat in on a few classes.”

She turned to see Clint grinning at her, and she noticed his lack of formal attire.

“Did you spend the night?”

“Mayyybe. . . no truthfully I went out with Steve, but we came home empty handed so I figured I’d come up and check on you. Maria had passed out in the living room so I didn’t have to duck any of her punches. You know she gave Tony a bloody nose? According to Loki, who heard it from Bruce.”

Natalie gasped, then realized where Maria must have run off too after she’d been put to bed.

“Good grief. I hope he’s okay. This is just like that night near the end of senior year. Except he should be in here too, naked.”

Clint stared at her, slightly confused,

“You and I remember that night very differently.”

***

**End of Part 2.**

**Author's Note:**

> I had no idea this story would turn into such a behemoth as it did. It went through rigorous editing to fix plot holes and loose ends, but if you spot any, please feel free to point them out and they will be fixed! thanks for reading.


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